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Ohhh fuck. The things that have happened this past month are insane.. Extremely exhausted. =/ I need to stop staying out til 5am. Time to toke, then bed..for several hours. 
I guess what makes me different from most girls is that I'm not the type to squeal all over you and I don't ask for your attention at all times. I know what I want and I know how to get it but I don't hurt people along the way. I can be a bitch but I'm also a weird, obnoxious loser, but hey, that's the truth in me. I guess you can say I'm complicated, but I'd rather be difficult than easy any day. I can be hard to figure out at times but if you know me, I'm not that much of a confusing person. So why don't you actually open up your heart instead of just your eyes and take a look at me, then tell me that you love me.
Look at me – I know you hurt me, and I hurt you. But I know what we once had was real. It isn’t there now; the firey spark that kept us alive, it diminished into nothing. I want you to move on, and never look back. Not at me, not at anything we had. I want you to move on to bigger and better things, just like I’m going to as well. But if you find that your life isn’t quite right, come find me. I’ll be waiting in the dark, waiting for you to light up my life once again.
There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and go on.
Turn back in time where you used to sit 4 hours watching the Rugrats. Where you wouldn't ever leave your house without your nano baby, and when Blues Clues was actually challenging. Rewind back to the times when your favorite shows were Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, and Rocko's Modern Life. When you watched re-runs of TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World. When you remember reading every series of Goosebumps, or in that case, remember listening to your mom read them as she grew bored and bored as you grew more excited as to what would happen next. When bringing plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school was pretty much cool, and saying "NOT" after every sentence was the way to talk. When every argument was settled by rock, paper, scissors, bubble gum bubble gum in a dish, or daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky. When cops and robbers was a daily activity, and when hide and go seek was put to pause only when it was snack time. The days when we used to actually obey our parents and when the radio was all we depended on for music. When you knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together. When you always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos, but never taped anything funny, so you gave up. When the Magic School Bus made you think that school buses could fly, and when yo-yos made you popular. When getting married meant buying your crush a Ring Pop, and blabbing some random words behind the dumpster. When reading that little paper in the fortune cookie meant everything to you because it predicted your life. The day when you could tell furbie all your little secrets and expect him to talk back, and when Beanie Babies were the talk of the class. When you got creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?", and when you knew the Macarena by heart. When you lied to your parents to bring you to McDonalds, because you were starving, when really you wanted to play in the play place. When gas was $0.95 a gallon, and Caller ID was a new thing, and when checking out drawing books and "Rainbow Fish" from the library was the cool thing to do. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear, we didn't bother to think of how good things were.
Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives... and to the "good life", whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are
doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. |
